The news lately reads like someone took an issue of the Onion, chopped it up, threw it in a blender and is now trying to make a coherent story out of it. TFG getting 66% of the Republican vote in Michigan is described as a resounding win; Biden getting 80% of the Democratic vote means he’s struggling. The Supreme Court has announced that it will take the case (at a very leisurely pace) of whether a president is a king with “absolute immunity” for any crime….including, presumably, having Seal Team Six stuff a few Supreme Court Justices into a rocket headed for Mars. Republicans are doing everything to force pregnancy on women, unless the woman wants pregnancy badly enough to use IVF. Lauren Boebert continues her campaign to become indistinguishable from Sarah Palin, with Boebert’s son getting arrested in connection with a string of vehicle break-ins. And apparently the latest right-wing bugaboo is ice cream (along with electric stoves, rainbows, books, the Super Bowl, and anything else that might spark joy).
And the press is running around breathlessly fantasizing that Biden will “step aside” for some younger (but still white and male) candidate.
Anyway, I’ve solved it all.
But first, a word from our sponsor!
Top Comments appears nightly, at 10:00 pm Eastern / 7:00 pm Pacific, as a round-up of the best comments on Daily Kos. Surely ... you come across comments daily that are perceptive, apropos and .. well, perhaps even humorous. But they are more meaningful if they're well-known ... which is where you come in (especially in diaries/stories receiving little attention).
Send your nominations to TopComments at gmail dot com by 9:30 PM Eastern Time nightly, or by our KosMail message board. Please indicate (a) why you liked the comment, and (b) your Dkos user name (to properly credit you) as well as a link to the comment itself.
At the convention, the Dems decide to court the youth vote by replacing Biden with an embryo that’s been frozen for 35 years. However, on the eve of the election there’s a zombie apocalypse in Florida (brought on by Florida’s surgeon general declaring that non-zombies are “woke”). Once again, no one’s able to figure out how to count Florida’s votes. The Supreme Court is on the verge of announcing a decision, when it’s revealed that TFG was actually born in Kenya. (We should have guessed, since he’s invariably guilty of whatever he’s accusing someone else of doing.) The Supremes note that the embryo is also not a natural-born citizen (or even a born citizen). Presidency passes to Speaker Hakeem Jeffries.
Admittedly this is unfair to Kamala Harris, but she gets one of the four open Supreme Court seats when Thomas, Kavanaugh, Gorsuch & Coney Barrett are sent to the new Galt Colony on Mars. Just before the rocket launches, Lauren Boebert’s son breaks in and steals all their ice cream.
On to Top Comments!
From inkstainedwretch:
I love the last sentence in the Le Monde article cited by Laurence Lewis in reply to Lorne Gruene's equally great comment on ecostar's diary.
From thesphynx:
wxwall's excellent deconstruction of what ails the NYT's biased coverage of the results of the Michigan primaries:
MI, the NYT biased reporting, and Another Over/Under Performance by Biden and Trump
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
Picture quilt, created by jotter, brought back by elfling & the help desk crew: